My Current Stressor

With the extra time off and delivery day nearing I have been really thinking about what is going to be happening in the near future.  I think of my dreams of labor and delivery and I know that most of what I have always wanted as far as that goes is out of my control.  I really want to have a drug free delivery.  It is best for the babies and it is what I want.  I really hate when I say that to people and they tell me that I have no idea how painful it is.  I realize that but why tell me I can't do something that I have never tried.  I think that is all about how you approach it.  We took the Lamaze classes and while I know that breathing won't take away pain, I feel that we learned a lot of things that can relax me and distract me during contractions.  I also think I have the most wonderful husband in the world and he understands that his job during the labor and delivery is to keep me focused and calm.  He is really good at that and he knows what my wishes are so that if I would try to give up early he would be there to keep me on track. 

With all of that said, I know that with twins they always take extra precautions and they may not even let me attempt to deliver without an epidural.  I also know that a c-section is entirely possible and I would definitely need medication for that.  This is what stresses me out.  I have waited so long for this and I don't feel like I have any say in what is going to happen.  

What I do have some control over is what happens after the girls are born.  My number one priority is to breastfeed them and for Wes and I to have skin-to-skin time with each girl.  This is the very best thing we can do for our brand new little babies.  Research shows that skin-to-skin time is the next best thing to being inside my belly.  Breastfeeding is going to be a challenge because there are two and I know that all three of us will be learning together, but this does not change my mind at all.  That is the way that I will be feeding my children no matter what.  No formula is equivalent to a mother's milk.  

We have to also consider that our girls will be sent to the NICU, I may need to go to recovery if I have a c-section and a number of other factors could happen.  Because of all of these things Wes and I do not want any visitors for the first 24 hours, or at the least until we say otherwise.  If it is an uncomplicated birth and things are going well we may feel differently.  We just don't want the pressure of people waiting to come in while we are meeting our little miracles for the first time or while I'm trying to breast feed them.  I am very private about my body and would feel very uncomfortable with people in the room while I am breast feeding or doing skin-to-skin.  My fear is that I will have to have a c-section and while I'm in recovery all of the waiting family will meet my girls before I do.  That should not happen.  I am hoping that everyone can understand where we are coming from and know that we are not trying to not include people.  There will be so many opportunities for people to meet our babies and to be involved in their lives.  We just feel their first day or at least the first few hours of their lives is time for just our new little family.  We will be more than willing to show them off when things are stable and we are comfortable with our situation.  I am hoping that everyone can respect our wishes and try to understand why we are asking for this.