My Sister's Keeper

Jodi Picoult is one of my favorite authors. Her books are so well written but they definitely are tear jerkers. My Sister's Keeper is one of my favorite books of hers. I read it about 3 years ago and this summer the movie came out. I had planned to go see it with a group of my friends who had also read the book but we could never work it out with everyone. So last night we got together and watched it on DVD. I'm not going to say much about the story because if you haven't read it you definitely should. I do suggest reading it. The movie was good, but books are ALWAYS better! However, I won't be giving anything away by saying that it is about a family dealing with one of their children having cancer. I read the book. I knew what was coming, but that didn't stop the tears.

I cried while watching the movie, but I cried even more on my way home and then once I got home. All I could think about while I was watching it was I don't ever want to deal with my children being terminally ill. Wes had stayed home with the girls and I knew they would be sleeping at 11:30 when I got home, but I wanted so badly to snuggle them. When I got home I went upstairs because I thought if I can't hold them I at least want to look at them. Wes was rocking with Mya and she was wide awake. Apparently, she was crying so hard that he had to change her bedding because it was soaked. He said he felt so bad for her because she has a runny nose and he thought it sounded like she was having trouble breathing so he picked her up. I asked if I could please hold her because I needed some snuggle time. When he handed her to me she wrapped her arms around my neck and "hugged" me. I just sat rocking with her for a long time and I cried. I thanked God over and over again that my babies are healthy and I begged him never to take them from me. I do not know what it feels like to watch a child grow sicker and sicker. I do know what it feels like to lose a child, but the thought of losing a child after they have been in your life and changed you forever is more than I could ever stand. I do think about our first baby up in heaven every day and I cannot wait to meet him/her someday. I hope that is the only time I have to deal with the death of one of my children.

I didn't mean for this post to be so sad. I actually wanted it to be more about how I love my children so much it hurts and that I would do absolutely anything to keep them from ever suffering. I am thankful for my little miracles and I look forward to watching them grow up happy and healthy!