The appointment on Wednesday did not go exactly as I dreamed. Over the last three weeks I really only thought about how many babies it would be. I just assumed everything else would be perfect. I mean God couldn't possibly let me get pregnant and then it not work out again after all that we've been through, right? So that just wasn't even on my radar. Monday at 4:00 the doctor's office called me and left me a message that Dr. K had two IVF retrievals and a surgery that had to be scheduled for Wednesday and so they wanted to move me to Thursday. I called back right away but their phones were off for the day. I was leaving for a conference Wednesday night and I wouldn't be able to come in Thursday. That night I was really anxious because I was really afraid that they would tell me I had to wait until next week to come in since I would be out of town Thursday and Friday and I just could not wait that long. It has been such a long 3 weeks already! I kept waking up that night because I was having bad dreams that I was at Dr. K's office and he was doing the ultrasound and couldn't find a baby or couldn't find a heartbeat. I woke up sweating and really upset. Tuesday morning I got up early even though we had a delay and took a shower so that if I called when the office opened at 7:30 and they told me to just come today, I would be ready. I called at 7:30 on the dot and they said well they would maybe squeeze me in at the end of the day but weren't sure he would want to because he always wants to see patients on day 33, which for me was Wednesday. They called back at 10:30 and said they would just make it work Wednesday and squeeze me in between procedures because he doesn't want me to come too early.
My mom had taken the day off of work to come with Wes and I to the doctor. I was so incredibly anxious all morning. How many babies would it be? My world was about to change! A student (I think but can't quite remember) was with the nurse and Dr. K. and she was doing my ultrasound. She was going soooooooo slow and I just wanted her to get moving. Dr. K was talking and explaining everything that we were seeing. He said the gestational sac measured perfectly and the yolk sac measured perfectly and that the pregnancy was right at the top of my uterus where it was supposed to be. But I knew when I had an ultrasound at this same time with the girls I could see them and their little beating hearts. This time I could barely see the little yolk sac on the edge and I was worried. The doctor was really calm, almost too calm and that made it worse. He kept adjusting things and zooming in and trying to find a heartbeat. At one point he said I think this may be it but it is just too small to tell for sure and that it may just be too early. Every pregnancy is different and every baby develops at different rates and so he said that I needed to come back on Monday to have a repeat ultrasound. We need to see the heartbeat before we can be released to my regular OB. Needless to say I cried. I was very scared and worried. Could this really be happening to us? It just wasn't possible!
The arrow is pointing to the baby on the side. It is very tiny, but that is our sweet little miracle!
I had to leave that night for Columbus for my conference and I was just really uneasy. I had heard from several friends that this happened to them and their babies are all just fine. It was just too early. I've prayed and prayed about this and I am now feeling much more positive. For the last few days I have been feeling really nauseous and I didn't have much of that before. I think it is the baby telling me "Don't worry, Mommy! I'm still growing in here!" I'm still super tired and feel pregnant for sure so my current focus is on remaining calm because I'm sure nervous energy wouldn't be good for the baby. I am going to continue to pray and trust that He will take care of our little miracle!
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